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  I meticulously, as if by the eyes of others, looked through the captured film. It turned out really great! She is dead without a doubt. Perhaps one blow would have been enough.

  - Gardner! Where the hell did gardner go? Hey, has anyone seen Gardner?

  I sighed and turned off the screen. The film froze in the place where I stood bent over, preparing to chop off my Denise's legs. For a moment in my chest, it became colder, as it was when this episode was shot, because our fake workshop made Denise's mannequin so similar that his legs were exactly like a living man's. However, my instant confusion did not violate the overall effect.

  I lit a light and rose from my chair. Damn Chef Crane - he didn't let me see through to the end! He climbed the stairs, sniffing and puffing, with an evil physiognomy and a wooden cigar sticking out in his mouth, which also did not bode well. The chef was followed by two secretaries, similar to each other like twins: both blondes, both beautiful, each holding a tape recorder.

  Crane flopped into the chair I had just vacated and poked an artificial cigar toward the screen.

  “I don't know you, Gene,” he said, “I could hope that you were looking at this rubbish to sort out your shortcomings.” But you must have sat, as always, and enjoyed your genius!

  “Do you think this is rubbish?” I said offendedly. - Tell me, chief ...

  - No, you better tell me, did you hear the latest RTP summary?

  Frankly, I was embarrassed: I did not hear the summary. But I had no reason to believe that my last broadcast changed for the worse the Result of the Television Example. Is there really a catastrophic fall and that's why the owner got so excited?

  - Of course, you are like water off a duck! Come on, girls, turn on both tape recorders, let him hear the score!

  As always, correct and, as always, cold, the girls stood on both sides of the screen and turned on tape recorders. There was a voice from Jad Logen, RTP's chief expert. “This week, Gene Gardner's television show, HOW TO KILL TIME, resulted in 860 killings committed within 48 hours of the demonstration. The corresponding figures for the same week last year - 721.4. The theme of the latest program is "ax kill."

  The tape recorders clicked and fell silent. Still not understanding the reason for the host's anger, but with some relief I turned to him:

  - So what is it bad? What is the one whose week-to-week series causes such steady growth?

  But Crane was not determined to concede. He put his piece of wood in his mouth again.

  “Yes, but do you know how much the population has grown this year only within the city?” For four hundred and eighty thousand!

  “If you wish, chief, so that I return to Lancaster, you say so directly!” All his programs are ninety or even one hundred RTP behind mine! However, if you sat down and the girls, too, and looked from the beginning to the end of my work, then maybe together we would find some new twist.

  “Well, I can stand it again, perhaps.” And you sit down! He ordered the girls.

  I pressed the remote control button on the handle of the chair and scrolled the movie back to the title credits.

  “I turned off the sound so as not to interfere,” I said. - I'll start with the name. My last name, you see, is white, and the word "time" is also white. Everything else is blood red, so it reads “HOW TO KILL TIME”.

  - Isn't it better to leave only that red, and generally remove white so that no one could be mistaken? - noticed one of the girls.

  - The idea! I agreed. - I will consult with the psychologist of the scenario group. I am afraid he will find it too frank: only HOW TO KILL.

  The secretaries laughed in one voice.

  I began to comment on the shots: I explained that the dialogue was verified with a reference to the most common phrases and turns, that this is how the English speak in ordinary life; that the accuracy of the scenery and decor is consistent with social workers who visit residents at home. And the weapon here - as in all my productions - is the most mundane thing that everyone can freely acquire for themselves, and (I emphasized the last) the murderer commits such an atrocity so openly that the law will easily detect the culprit and deal with it, thanks to to which not only the victim, but also the attacker will contribute to population reduction.

  “Mr. Gardner, ”said the second girl, who was still silent,“ Denise Delarose appears in all your programs. ” Isn't it better to change your victim from time to time?

  “This is what we are doing,” I replied sharply. - In every fourth transmission we show simultaneously several murders, in every third - the victim is always a man. Before, I myself sometimes played the role of a murdered person, but then I stopped, as this reduced the numbers of RTP. For psychological reasons, success is much greater when a beautiful woman becomes a victim. After all, the more attractive she is, the more she ... um ... how would I say ... - Noticing that the girls were reddened and squirmed in their chairs, I delicately finished: - The sooner it can help to increase the population. That is why we emphasize that attractive women pose the most real danger.

  I looked at Crane, and my heart sank. Apparently, the remark of the secretary seemed to him not without meaning.

  “How many times have you killed Denise in recent months?” He asked menacingly.

  I did not dare to hide.

  “Twelve times in six months, and besides, she died in the massacres.” But Denise is a great actress, ”I added hastily,“ and we are doing our best to diversify her roles. ”

  - It goes without saying. But, in fact, is your current program very different from the previous one?

  Sweat has rolled off me already.

  “We cannot afford too much variety.” After all, our goal is to make the maximum number of viewers see ourselves in us. For the sake of this, we portray the inhabitants of the most densely populated areas and representatives of those professions where there is simply brutal competition.

  “Okay, Gene, let it all stay that way,” said Crane. - Believe me, I do not question either your abilities or the results of your work. I'm just looking for a way to increase RTP. If only we could step a thousand!

  Yes, if I were the first to achieve such a magical figure, that would be an achievement! I barely smiled.

  - Thank you, Chef. And yet we have stepped so far, if you remember where we started.

  He wouldn't remember! Forty two RTP! In the first program, we showed poisoning, and the choice of method itself was a mistake. In the second, we did not focus anymore, but showed a murder with a knife, and two days after the demonstration in the city, eighty-five murders were recorded with a butcher's knife, that is, RTP is one hundred percent higher. And a week later we left behind this figure and never returned to it.

  Already at the door, Crane turned and said:

  - Jin, what's the next topic? I would like to know in advance. Tomorrow at ten in the morning I have a meeting. Advertisers want to include your number in their program. I think you need to be present. Come!

  I had to portray complete delight.

  Of all the benefits that the success of television programs brought me, I treasured a few, not to mention, of course, Denise, who was everything to me. But one of them was my car. I was glad that there was no longer any need to fight for a place or get into a bus with a fight. That evening, after landing ordinary passengers - two employees living near me - I pulled the car out of the parking lot and landed in the tail, which was moving to the intersection of Plain and Fifteenth.

  “First, we'll pick Denise,” I explained to my companions.

  At first we drove, we can say, fast: twelve miles per hour. But, having got, as always, in a congestion near the Tenth, they were already moving crawling. Suddenly, on the sidewalk full of pedestrians, some guy noticed that the seat next to me in the car
was free. He ran up and knocked on the window. I did not hear his words: my car is soundproof, but other idlers heard, and in a dozen seconds a crowd formed, probably a thousand people. However, I remained calm: if the crowd began to interfere with the traffic, the police would not take long. And so it happened. A few shots from machine guns drove people back to the sidewalk, onlysix people trampled on the run left to lie on the pavement and the one who started the whole mess did not go away stubbornly and, pointing at me, shouted to the police.

  I lowered the window when I saw a policeman approaching me. Of course, he recognized me, and when I explained that I had left a place for Denise, he apologized, shot the troublemaker and got into his helicopter.

  Despite this incident, I was only a few minutes late for a date with Denise. I did not know where she spent all day, but I decided that she was in the shops, and apparently bought something at a cheap price, judging by the joyful gleam of her eyes and the way she kissed me, sitting in the car.

  “You're quite unusual today,” I said. “I haven't seen you like that since we got married!”

  - It's my fault! She faked. “And this time, too, so we're even.” Really great? The clinic confirmed, no doubt.

  - What? I asked, feeling that I was falling somewhere.

  - They said yes! Sixty percent for being a boy.

  - Which boy?

  - Boy, son! I'm so happy. Gin! I immediately went to the consultation from the clinic and collected various books and brochures there; look, everything is explained so clearly in them, and there are tape tapes to teach the baby. Imagine how our Jin Jr. babbles his first poems!

  She turned on the tape recorder, and a silly, sucking female voice filled the car with an abominable song:

  Nobody killed you

  I didn't raise an ax,

  Chop, chop, chop, chop ...

  “I especially liked this one,” Denise said cheerfully. - Recalled our last show.

  I took a deep breath.

  - Are you crazy? Have you thought about what RTP will be like when it becomes known that television stars are busy with population growth? Do you want to know what it took me half a day today? To a fight with Crane, who wanted to put you out of the series. And what kind of devil you dragged into the clinic, couldn't you take a private doctor who would keep a secret? No, really, you're crazy!

  She stared at me with a frozen look. I recognized this familiar facial expression, the insult to the unjustly accused woman, which she portrayed in the good half of our programs.

  - No, I'm not crazy, it's you crazy! Any man, having heard that he will be a father, rejoices, and you ...

  - Well, rejoice! I boiled. - In one of our city over the past year four hundred eighty thousand have increased, and how many in the whole country, we do not even know. We are proud of our RTP, we help fight this evil. And you allow yourself to have a baby! - I grabbed my head. “Is it really not our work that matters to you?” Don't care about her purpose?

  - Our work is a fiction! - objected Denise, but from her trembling voice I realized that she hesitated, and hastened to use it.

  - Fiction, you say? No matter how! Our programs help make the world liveable again. Denise, can you hear me?

  ... At home she cried all evening. I tried to distract her. I asked her to play the dramatic heroine. I made efforts to interest her in discussing a future show. But she continued to shed tears.

  The next morning I came to the studio completely sick. Denise's behavior prevented me from concentrating, but meanwhile, by the beginning of the meeting, I had to have a plot. Often I found ideas in a fake workshop and in the warehouses of props. And now, at a loss, I headed there. On the long face of Al Basley, the head of this workshop, a strange expression flickered at the sight of me. But he hastened to say:

  “Good morning, Gene.” What is obliged to such an early visit?

  “I'm, as always, looking for ideas,” I replied. - Let me take a look at the racks with weapons.

  He nodded and silently kept me company, while I slowly looked at his wealth: boarding sabers, rapiers, knives of various designs, firearms, from muskets to machine guns. In the boxes were bottles of poison, surgical instruments, all kinds of scissors - in short, everything that could kill: from cars to potassium cyanide. Almost all objects were decorated with colored stickers. Blue meant that it was already used in our programs. The Reds testified that we were ahead of Lancaster and other competitors. I was even upset - there were so many red stickers there. Suddenly I noticed one little thing, very elegant and, of course, deadly.

  - New acquisition, yes, Al? I asked.

  “A rather rare weapon,” he answered proudly. - Forty-loading carbine. See how conveniently the store is placed? The slightest touch of the index finger is enough. Acts with amazing ease. Silently ... Gene, I know, it's not supposed to ask about it, but ... a strange rumor has spread about Denise ...

  - For example? I asked lively, and I thought to myself: “Damned talkers. Where did the so-called medical ethics go? ”

  “They say she ... mmm, is going to increase the population.” With your participation, of course.

  - Ah, you are talking about this! I said with a grimace. - Oh, my God, Al, if the numbers of RTP grew as fast as the rumors! But in this, as in any rumor, there is a grain of truth. An accident, I admit, can happen to everyone.

  - So it was an accident? He asked incredulously.

  - Undoubtedly! I said firmly. - And there are reliable ways to eliminate this, which we intend to do. Neither I nor she has gone crazy so as to jeopardize our series.

  He shook my hand warmly.

  “How nice of you to tell me that, Gene.” I confess to you in secret that an accident also happened to us. My wife has been fighting with me for a month ... Jin, she is your faithful fan. Let me convey your words. Perhaps this will affect her.

  Al was an old friend of mine, and I nodded:

  - Okay, because it is in the public interest.

  No matter how spacious the room was, it turned out to be crowded, and I had to sit next to Crane. On the contrary, guests were sitting across the table, I saw their hard faces. To the left is Maybury from the Association of Industrial Monopolies, next to him is Jackson Weems, a representative of the government and the Transport Commission, and on the other hand is Brother Louis Gravemen, a moral adviser on television, in the black vestments of the Order of Atonement.

  The first half hour left for small questions. Wims suggested creating special points with government support where people who are late for home due to overloaded city transport can watch TV. Naturally, Maybury, whose factories produce, among other things, wall-to-wall carpet material for home comfort, said a protest. And suddenly I was wary. Possible plot! A few weeks ago, a promising message appeared about the outbreak of the viral flu epidemic.

  - And what happened? - shouted Weems. - All the latest news was filled with images of poor, suffering children, instead of giving place to optimistic statistics! And, as a direct consequence, - I emphasize, as a direct consequence - before mortality even reached ten thousand, one of your pharmaceutical companies, Mr. Maybury, has already launched an effective medicine on the market. And where are we now? In the same place where you started! Already more than ten days, not a single death!

  Maybury seemed confused. He did not respond directly to this attack, appealing to his brother Louis:

  - Tell me, have we not fulfilled our moral duty? We had an antiviral drug ready, and we needed it, so then, should we give up?

  Brother Louis shrugged and said mysteriously:

  - The controversial formula "The end justifies the means."

  “You talk nonsense, brother Louis!” - boiled Maybury. “Well, if you are looking for MEANS, you won't find anything better than ours!”

  Quite unexpectedly, Wims supported him:

  - By the way, we could even create a permanent epidemic tomorrow if not for howling different slobber, self-lovers who do not think about the welfare of society.

 
- Oh well, I'm not talking about that at all! - interrupted Maybury. “And Brother Louis understands perfectly.” I mean our drug Sterilin, which has been released for ten years, but to this day we are not allowed to advertise it. Here you have your MEANS and, by the way, much more reliable than all these damn ones ...

  “It seems to me that we should postpone this delicate topic and move on to the agenda,” Crane intervened. - A group of advertisers wants to discuss Mr. Gene Gardner's programs today. Yesterday we conferred with him for a long time ...

  Everyone was staring at me. I was silent and licked my dry lips. And suddenly, as if someone had turned on a button in my brain, and I felt a surge of inspiration.

  “Gentlemen,” I said, turning to Maybury and Wims, “you are waiting for new high rates of RTP.” Believe me too. It's time to move the emphasis. It is time to emphasize the universality of circumstances, not characters. I will tell you that we will rehearse today, and tomorrow we will record. I play the role of a person with a stable social position, wealthy and moderately happy, living alone with his wife in a separate apartment, a person who satisfies his base instincts with a collection of firearms. Psychologically, this makes sense. Which of us secretly does not dream to get rich and allow ourselves such a hobby?But the wife of this master - her role, of course, is for Denise Delaroz - launches all the power of temptation and, undermining his self-control, achieves, to the horror of her husband, conception.